LOVING LIKE YOU MEAN IT: USE THE POWER OF EMOTIONAL MINDFULNESS TO TRANSFORM YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
Book ID/图书代码： 02895419C00006
English Summary/英文概要： No matter how hard we try, many of us struggle to make love work with our partners. The problem, as clinical psychologist Dr. Ron Frederick explains, is that our brains are running on outdated software. Without us knowing it, our early relationship programming causes us to fear being more emotionally present and authentic with our partners―precisely what’s needed to build loving connections. But we don’t have to remain prisoners to our past.
Grounded in cutting-edge neuroscience and attachment theory, Loving Like You Mean It shares a proven four-step approach to use emotional mindfulness to break free from old habits, befriend your emotional experience, and develop new ways of relating. The capacity for deep, loving connections is inside all of us, waiting to come out. By practicing the science behind loving like you mean it, your relationships can be fuller and richer than you ever imagined.
Chinese Summary/中文概要： 面对感情，我们的爱常常被恐惧所挟持！
害怕失去爱，畏怯于做自己，不敢承认需要安全感……
让痛苦、悲伤与愤怒的心情在心中一直苦熬
本书运用四步骤培养情绪觉察力，带你挖掘出深埋心底、说不出口的纷繁情绪，练习向内关注X辨识X反思复杂情绪，在关系中找到真正的幸福！
★美国「」银奖得主力作
★荣获美国亚马逊书店四星以上好评
★献给想要爱、寻找爱、学习爱、又受困于爱的人
你还在为不协调的关系苦苦挣扎吗？
你厌倦于在他／她面前「故作坚强」了吗？
你希望在爱着他／她的同时，也成为更好的自己吗？
与他人建立亲密关系是一个充满情绪的过程，在关系中善用「感受」的能力更是艰难的信仰。
当躁动的情绪在内心蛰伏蠢动，你是否对自己或伴侣有足够的耐心去倾听内心、注重感受，静静等待真实的自己归来，也温柔陪伴对方成长。
本书以爱为名，从关系中的裂痕寻光出发，
接住你正在坠落的心与脆弱的负面情绪。
你将运用情绪觉察的力量，学习如何平等相爱，
放下对感情的不满与委屈，并幸福感受到那种「有人懂」的感觉！
\你有「亲密恐惧」的体质吗？//
我们都渴望与伴侣建立真正亲密的关系，却在不知不觉中受困于情感的牢笼里，总是为自己套上层层防备，与自己所亲近的人保持距离，以掩饰对失败的恐惧、被遗弃的恐惧……
想想看，过去你在亲密关系中是否曾发生这样的情况：
□把真实的感受藏在心里
□很难开口向伴侣表达关心
□明明想亲近伴侣，却表现出一副毫不在乎的样子
□无法专注享受与伴侣共度的快乐时光
□容易自我怀疑，担心会搞砸这段感情
□总觉得对方最后还是会离开自己
□面对伴侣的依赖、需求和欲望感到焦虑不安
\真正的爱是─//
一段健康、有质量的关系是─快乐的、可以展露自己的真实面貌，有前所未有的稳定与安全感。
·当我们受伤，不必勉强死撑
·当我们被错怪，用不着吞忍委屈
·当我们感到不安，会寻求理解和慰藉
·当我们想表达爱，愿意给予关心、鼓励和陪伴
·当我们感觉被爱，便不需以完美的样子示人
\不必成为「过去」的囚徒，
开启觉察力就能创造美好新关系//
为什么我们害怕向伴侣敞开心胸？害怕在亲密关中表露出诚实、无伪装的自己？或者，更确切的说，为什么我们会沦为被「恐惧」绑架的俘虏，无法深刻体会关系中最纯粹的感情呢？
本书将以脑神经科学和依附理论为基础，探索我们的许多情绪、行为还有习惯是如何被孩儿时期大脑的旧回路所控制，同时藉由专业、简易的技巧练习来培养情绪觉察力，学习专注在自己以及别人「当下」内心的情绪感受，以摆脱大脑原本对人际关系的运作模式。(DD)
Awards/获奖情况：【用四步骤踏上情绪觉察的旅程】：
Step1 辨识并指称－
学会辨认早期习得的情绪体验在何时启动神经系统，导致自己做出充满防备的反应
Step2 停止、往下，然后停留－
学会暂停并创造内心的空间，向内关注正在翻腾的情绪和想法，而不是反射性做出行动
Step3 暂停并反思－
藉由接触核心自我得到更多智慧，考虑到更宽广多元的选择，以寻找出最符合自己意图与价值的行动
Step4 有觉察地相处－
学会用不同以往的方式专注在当下的情绪，并尝试表达自我、做出更客观的回应，让自己有机会被听见与被接受
"Taking on nothing less than love, Dr. Ron Frederick swings and hits it out of the park with this must-read book. His clear, warm, and accessible style brings neuroscience, relationship theory, and years of clinical experience to help with our relationships. Reading this wise book you will not only understand why you do the things you do (even when you don’t want to), but also how to change so that you can love and be loved."―Diana Fosha, PhD, Developer of Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy and author of The Transforming Power of Affect
"With compassionate understanding of the ways in which our early experiences shape our emotional lives, Dr. Ron Frederick offers an inspiring, practical guide to free yourself from the past and grow the capacity for stronger, happier relationships."―Elisha Goldstein, PhD, Co-founder of The Center for Mindful Living in Los Angeles
"Loving Like You Mean It is a heartfelt, well written, and practical guide to applying mindfulness to the work of personal and relational transformation. Dr. Frederick brings you into his consulting room, sharing experiences from his work, and skillfully guides you down a path toward having more vital and rewarding relationships. Highly Recommended!"―Louis Cozolino, PhD, Psychology Professor at Pepperdine University and author of The Neuroscience of Human Relationships
"This book is pure gold. It presents complex insights in a warm, clear manner and acts as a roadmap to healthy and joyful relationships both with ourselves and those we love. I wish I had this book to refer to in all my adult relationships, and now that it’s here, I’ll gratefully recommend it to my clients."―Raphael Cushnir, author of The One Thing Holding You Back and Setting Your Heart on Fire
"As gifted a writer as he is a psychotherapist, Dr. Ron Frederick expertly engages the reader in the most effective practices to recover true aliveness and wholeness in relationships. For people looking for clear guidance to navigate the challenges of emotional intimacy, this book is a gem."―Linda Graham, MFT, author of Bouncing Back and Resilience
About the Author/作者介绍： 罗纳．费德烈克临床心理学家。主要研究情绪体验在关系中带来的转变力量。是加速体验式动态心理治疗（AEDP）机构的资深成员，以及加州比佛利山庄勇敢生活中心的共同创办人。在国际间讲课、开办工作坊。着有《LivingLikeYouMeanIt:UsetheWisdomandPowerofYourEmotionstoGettheLifeYouReallyWant》（Jossey-Bass）。
Ronald J. Frederick, PhD, co-founded the Center for Courageous Living in Beverly Hills, California, and is a senior faculty member of the Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy Institute. For over twenty years, he has provided emotion-centered, experiential therapy to individuals and couples and actively trains other psychotherapists. Frederick is the author of the bestselling book Living Like You Mean It and a recipient of the American Psychological Association’s Malyon-Smith Scholarship Award for his research on the fear of intimacy. He lectures and teaches workshops around the world.
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Rights Status/版权销售情况：Simplified Chinese/简体中文：AVAILABLE
Complex/Traditional Chinese/繁体中文：AVAILABLE(到期可授)
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