THE POWER OF VALIDATION: ARMING YOUR CHILD AGAINST BULLYING, PEER PRESSURE, ADDICTION, SELF-HARM AND OUT-OF-CONTROL EMOTIONS
Book ID/图书代码： 09700011B50453
English Summary/英文概要： Validation is the recognition and acceptance that a person’s feelings and thoughts are true and real for him or her, regardless of whether or not those feelings make logical sense. This seemingly simple concept can determine whether a child has self-esteem or not, whether a child will grow to become an independent adult or a dependent one, and whether a child will be able to process feelings in a healthy way or express his or her emotions by throwing tantrums and acting out. Children who are validated feel reassured that they will be accepted and loved regardless of their feelings, while children who are validated less frequently become more susceptible to peer pressure and are more likely to develop behavioral problems.
The Power of Validation breaks validation skills into practical steps parents can use to respond to their child’s internal experiences in healthy ways without necessarily condoning their child’s behaviors. Readers learn to pay attention to their child, acknowledge the child’s thoughts and feelings, and help their child through the process of developing an identity of his or her own. By validating difficult emotions, but disallowing negative actions children may take in response to these emotions, parents can help their kids develop essential self-validating skills for the future that will foster self-esteem and emotional intelligence in adulthood.
Chinese Summary/中文概要： 肯定不仅仅是一种认知一种接受和接受的表现，它可以让被肯定的人感受到自己的情感和想法是真实的，不论这些情感和想法是否符合逻辑。这一概念看似简单，却无形中影响着孩子们的自尊心的形成，和成年后能否独立，更重要的是，它将决定孩子如何处理自己的情绪，是以一种健康的方式表达，抑或是通过大发脾气来发泄。受到肯定的孩子会感到不论他们有怎样的情绪和感情，他们仍旧是被接受认可，并被爱着的，而那些鲜少受到肯定鼓励的孩子们则会慢慢在面对同龄人压力时变得更加敏感脆弱，因而也就更容易发展成为行为问题儿童。《肯定的魔力》一书将分布解释实际操作中的肯定的各类步骤，家长们通过运用这些肯定的小技巧来回应孩子们内心的情感变化，这种方式更为健康有效，而且不需要过多的在意或宽恕孩子们的行为。家长们需要做的，只是更加关注自己的孩子，去了解孩子内心的想法和情感，并帮助孩子们在成长中慢慢形成自己的独立性格特征，作为一个完整的个体而独立存在。家长们需要做的不仅仅是肯定孩子内心深层的情感选择，还需要否定孩子消极的行为举止，通过这样一种不断的肯定和否定，孩子自身也会慢慢学会该如何处理自己的情感，这样家长便成功的引导孩子如何在必要的时候自我肯定，这一自我肯定的能力将帮助孩子们形成自尊心并在成年后发展足够的情商。(兼职翻译-DC)
Awards/获奖情况：“《肯定的魔力》是一本极为实用的书籍，他教会我们如何让孩子们感到受重视和有价值，全书彰显出了对于孩子们的耐心和信心，以及大量实用案例，生动形象。全文字里行间透露出着睿智，不仅触动了我们为人父母的内心，更是触及了人类全体渴望的到肯定的天性。除了慈爱的去认同，接受，肯定孩子们的生存价值，还有什么比这些更珍贵的礼物我们能留给孩子吗？“---布兰特•洛卡斯特•威尔肯，休士顿大学社会研究院副教授 “肯定是最有效的改善人际关系的方法，不仅适用于各年龄段的儿童，同时适用于伙伴之间，和家庭成员，甚至是工作上的同事。卡恩•D•豪尔和梅丽莎•H•库克共著的这本《肯定的魔力》将详细的向我们揭示为何我们每个人都应该掌握这样一种技能。这是家长和年轻老师们的必读书目，更重要的是他给我们提供了创造性的全新视角。”----吉姆•豪尔，戴安娜•豪尔，全国精神疾病联盟及边缘性人格障碍教育联盟家庭教育者
“《肯定的魔力》为家长们指出了一条明路，这条道路的尽头是一名有着健康自尊心并能够自信并坦然的面对日常生活中的困难与坎坷的孩子。不论你是家长，或你即将成为准爸准妈，阅读本书，绝对会让你受益匪浅。“----葛林•O•贾伯德
“从未有哪本书能够像本书一样浅显却不失深刻的谈论我们耳熟能详的肯定这一话题，本书中，作者揭示了肯定对于孩子健康茁壮成长的神奇魔力。并且这一过程中我们学会的不仅是肯定如何如何激励孩子们形成自我肯定，帮助自发孩子们的自尊心，我们还学会了如何面对不利环境----总而言之了，作者充满情感的向我们呈现出了这一极为细腻的课题，这绝对是家长们的必读书目，而对于想要发展自身情商的人而言，这本书宛如珍宝，对于精神健康的每一个领域而言，本书都是极为难能可贵的。”---金伯利•A•阿林豪斯，医学博士，休士顿大学贝勒医学院副教授
About the Author/作者介绍： 卡恩•D•豪尔，博士，30年来一直从事临床心理学，她起初是儿童心理学家，目前专攻辩证行为疗法，休士顿辩证行为疗法中心负责人。 梅丽莎•H•库克，LPC，休士顿辩证行为疗法中心理疗师，专攻饮食紊乱及边缘性人格障碍。
夏里•Y•曼宁，博士，一家提供咨询，监督，以及训练辩证行为患者的服务机构的成立者及主要负责人。前行为科技中心CEO，该中心由玛莎博士负责成立，曼宁博士负责咨询的范围广泛，从全国性问题到私人精神健康项目，从国内到国外，并且接待了各种病患。曾出版一些关于DBT的文章，主要帮助边缘性人格患者的家庭成员，使得病患的失控情绪不至于伤害家人，并致力于修缮家庭成员间破损关系。
Karyn D. Hall, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist who has been in practice for over thirty years. Originally trained as a child psychologist, she now specializes in dialectical behavior therapy and is the director of the Dialectical Behavior Therapy Center in Houston, TX.
Melissa H. Cook, LPC, is a dialectical behavior therapist in Houston, TX, specializing in eating disorders and borderline personality disorder.
Shari Y. Manning, PhD is a founder and Chief Executive Officer of Treatment Implementation Collaborative, LLC a company that provides consultation, supervision and training in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and other Evidence Based Treatments. She is the former President/CEO of Behavioral Tech, LLC and Behavioral Tech Research, Inc, founded by Marsha Linehan, Ph.D, the developer of DBT. Dr. Manning consults extensively to state and private mental health programs, domestically and internationally, at all levels of client care. She has written several published chapters and articles on DBT a book for family members of people with borderline personality disorder, entitled, Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder: How to Keep Out-of-Control Emotions from Destroying Your Relationship.
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