OUR CHEATING HEARTS: LOVE AND LOYALTY. LUST AND LIES

Book ID/图书代码： 07980012B57936

English Summary/英文概要： Most of us manage to be monogamous, most of the time. But most of us also know that adultery is the ’crime’ we could imagine ourselves committing.

For centuries the couple relationship has sat uncomfortably at the apex of private and public life, but now the state, and even many religions, no longer insist that we marry in order to enjoy sexual pleasure, to have children, to be good citizens or to protect our economic security. So it is absolute fidelity in sexual love above all, which stands as the primary symbol of commitment to that love. In our progressive times, monogamy has become the ideal.

But reality is far from the ideal: in the UK alone, research suggest that up to two thirds of married women and three quarters of married men have engaged in at least one extra-marital sexual activity and a quarter of all couples present for therapy because of an affair. Infidelity in a long relationship is common - as Anthony Burgess once said ’Adultery is the most creative of sins’. Yet when it comes to understanding why people stray, or how to limit the likelihood of it happening and how to recover from it, we are living in the dark ages of ignorance, blame and shame. ’Adultery is both ordinary and forgivable,’ writes Siri Hustvedt and yet we don’t understand it.

This book lifts the taboos, asks the tough questions, suggests that we can survive an affair and that it can lead to a better understanding of ourselves and our relationships. Monogamy is possible and many couples manage it either throughout their relationship or for long periods of time. But for the countless others a more honest and humane public debate around the subject of infidelity is essential. Our Cheating Hearts, by the author known and respected for charting the emotional territory of relationships, is that book.

Chinese Summary/中文概要： 我們絕大部分時間裏，大多數人都處於一夫一妻制的情況下。但我們大多數人也清楚知道通姦意味着自己對婚姻所犯下的 ’罪行’。幾個世紀以來，夫妻間的關係已經被擱置於私人的和公共生活的熱點，但現在的情況，甚至很多宗教信仰，不再堅持認為我們結婚是為了能享受魚水之歡，為了繁衍子嗣，為了要成為好公民，或以保全我們的經濟安全。因此，在性愛中最為首要的是絕對忠誠，這是隨時作為對愛的承諾的主要象徵。在我們這個進步的時代，一夫一妻制已成為理想。但現實並不理想：僅在英國，研究表明近三分之二的已婚婦女和四分之三的已婚男子至少卷入過一次婚外情性生活，而四分之一的夫妻目前正因外遇而尋求婚姻救助。在一段長期關係中的不忠行為是常見的-安東尼•伯吉斯曾說過 ’通姦是最具創意的罪’。然而，當你瞭解為什麼人們會偏離婚姻軌跡，或如何限制婚外情發生的可能性以及如何修復婚姻，我們卻仍然徘徊在無知、指責和羞愧的黑暗時代。’通姦是人類常有的和可原諒的一種行為，’ 希莉•哈斯特維特寫道，只是我們不懂它。這本書提升了這一禁忌的話題，提出了這一棘手的問題，表明我們可以在外遇的遭遇下生存下去，這些遭遇可以指引我們更好地瞭解自己和夫妻間的關係。一夫一妻制是可能是很多夫妻自始自終在整個關係或為長時間堅守的一個目標。但對於無數其他更為誠實、更為人性化的，圍繞這個關於不忠主題的公開辯論是至關重要。《我們欺騙之心》，由頗有名望的作者，為讀者繪製出一幅情感領土的關係的藍圖。(Sandy)

Awards/获奖情况：This book should be supplied free on the National Health, it would save the country a fortune (Helen Simpson For Couples)

Figes brings her subject to life with passion and sense (Susanna Rustin Guardian for Couples)

As absorbing as a good novel or a soul-baring talk with an old and trusted friend (Melissa Benn New Statesman for Couples)

About the Author/作者介绍： Kate Figes is the author of four previous works of non-fiction: The Big Fat Bitch Book, Life After Birth, The Terrible Teens - What Every Parent Needs to Know and, most recently, Couples: How We Make Love Last, as well as two novels.

Format:

Rights Status/版权销售情况：Simplified Chinese/简体中文：AVAILABLE

Complex/Traditional Chinese/繁体中文：AVAILABLE

Sales in other countries/其他国家销售情况：

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